Discover a daily dose of laughter with this collection of puns for every day of the year.
Whether it’s a chilly January morning or a sunny July afternoon, there’s a pun to match. Plus, we’ve added a bonus pun for leap year to keep the fun going!
January Puns
Start the year with some fresh, crisp puns to brighten up your winter days. Here’s a pun for each day in January to keep you smiling throughout the month.
January 1: I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
January 2: I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
January 3: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
January 4: I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
January 5: I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
January 6: I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek competition, but it’s really hard to find good players.
January 7: Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
January 8: I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
January 9: I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
January 10: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
January 11: The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
January 12: I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.
January 13: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
January 14: I’m reading a book about mazes; I got lost in it.
January 15: My friend has a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
January 16: What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
January 17: I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
January 18: The guy who invented the door knocker got a Nobel prize.
January 19: I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
January 20: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
January 21: I bought a boat because it was for sail.
January 22: A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired.
January 23: I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
January 24: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
January 25: I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
January 26: What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
January 27: I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
January 28: I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
January 29: A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control her pupils.
January 30: I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
January 31: I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
February Puns
A month of love and laughter, February brings you a pun for every day, plus an extra one for leap years. Enjoy these playful puns to keep your spirits high all month long.
February 1: I was going to make a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
February 2: What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
February 3: I used to play chess with my friend, but he quit because he couldn’t handle my moves.
February 4: Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
February 5: My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador!
February 6: I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
February 7: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
February 8: I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
February 9: When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
February 10: I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
February 11: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
February 12: I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport; I’m just doing it for kicks.
February 13: I’m reading a book on teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
February 14: I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
February 15: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
February 16: I was going to tell a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
February 17: I told my friend she was overreacting, but she just snapped at me.
February 18: I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
February 19: My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
February 20: Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
February 21: I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
February 22: I told my dog to play dead, but he can’t. He’s a boxer.
February 23: I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
February 24: Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
February 25: I wanted to be a gardener, but I couldn’t find my thyme.
February 26: I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
February 27: I made a belt out of watches once. It was a waist of time.
February 28: I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
February 29 (Leap Year Bonus): Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
March Puns
Spring into March with these blooming good puns. As the days get longer and the weather warms up, enjoy a pun each day to put a spring in your step.
March 1: I told my friend I was going to make a pun about the wind, but it blew right past them.
March 2: I’m friends with almost all the letters of the alphabet. I just don’t know Y.
March 3: I used to work in a shoe factory, but I quit because it was sole-destroying.
March 4: Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed a little space.
March 5: I wanted to make a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
March 6: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
March 7: I was going to make a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
March 8: What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
March 9: I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
March 10: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents.
March 11: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
March 12: Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
March 13: I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
March 14: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
March 15: The guy who invented the door knocker got a Nobel prize.
March 16: I bought a boat because it was for sail.
March 17: I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
March 18: I’m reading a book on teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
March 19: I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
March 20: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
March 21: I used to have a job at a calendar factory but got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
March 22: I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
March 23: A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired.
March 24: I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. It was an uplifting experience.
March 25: I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
March 26: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
March 27: I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
March 28: My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador!
March 29: I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek competition, but it’s really hard to find good players.
March 30: I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
March 31: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
April Puns
April is all about showers of humor with these playful puns. Let these puns brighten your days as we move through the month, whether it’s rainy or sunny outside.
April 1: I asked the flour if it wanted to go out, but it said it had too much on its plate. April fools!
April 2: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
April 3: I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
April 4: Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
April 5: I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
April 6: The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was a one-night stand.
April 7: Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
April 8: I got a new job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
April 9: I told my friend I was going to make a joke about electricity, but it was too shocking.
April 10: I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. It was an uplifting experience.
April 11: I’m reading a book on teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
April 12: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
April 13: I was going to make a joke about a broken pencil, but there’s no point.
April 14: I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek competition, but it’s really hard to find good players.
April 15: I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
April 16: I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
April 17: I once told a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
April 18: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
April 19: I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
April 20: I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
April 21: I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
April 22: I used to work at a calendar factory but got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
April 23: I was going to make a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
April 24: What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
April 25: I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
April 26: I wanted to make a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
April 27: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
April 28: I bought a boat because it was for sail.
April 29: Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
April 30: I used to play chess with my friend, but he quit because he couldn’t handle my moves.
May Puns
May your days be filled with sunshine and laughter. As the flowers bloom and the weather warms up, enjoy a pun each day to keep your spirits high throughout the month.
May 1: I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
May 2: I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
May 3: I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
May 4: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
May 5: My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador!
May 6: I was going to make a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
May 7: I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
May 8: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
May 9: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
May 10: Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
May 11: I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
May 12: I made a belt out of watches once. It was a waist of time.
May 13: Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
May 14: I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
May 15: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
May 16: I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
May 17: A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired.
May 18: I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport; I’m just doing it for kicks.
May 19: I was going to make a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
May 20: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
May 21: I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
May 22: My friend has a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
May 23: Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
May 24: The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
May 25: I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
May 26: I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
May 27: Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
May 28: I bought a boat because it was for sail.
May 29: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
May 30: I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
May 31: I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
June Puns
June’s here, and it’s time for some sunny, summery puns. As you soak up the sun and enjoy the warm weather, let these puns bring a smile to your face each day.
June 1: I used to have a job at a calendar factory but got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
June 2: I wanted to be a gardener, but I couldn’t find my thyme.
June 3: I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
June 4: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
June 5: I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
June 6: I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. It was an uplifting experience.
June 7: I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
June 8: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
June 9: My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
June 10: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
June 11: I’m reading a book on teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
June 12: I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.
June 13: The guy who invented the door knocker got a Nobel prize.
June 14: I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
June 15: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
June 16: I used to play chess with my friend, but he quit because he couldn’t handle my moves.
June 17: I bought a boat because it was for sail.
June 18: I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek competition, but it’s really hard to find good players.
June 19: I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
June 20: I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
June 21: What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
June 22: A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control her pupils.
June 23: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
June 24: I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
June 25: I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
June 26: I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
June 27: I made a belt out of watches once. It was a waist of time.
June 28: I was going to make a joke about a broken pencil, but there’s no point.
June 29: What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
June 30: I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
July Puns
Celebrate summer with a pun for each sizzling day of July. Whether you’re enjoying the beach or a backyard barbecue, these puns will add a dash of humor to your sunny days.
July 1: I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
July 2: I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
July 3: I was going to make a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
July 4: Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
July 5: I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
July 6: I bought a boat because it was for sail.
July 7: I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
July 8: I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
July 9: I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
July 10: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
July 11: I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek competition, but it’s really hard to find good players.
July 12: I was going to make a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
July 13: I used to work at a calendar factory but got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
July 14: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
July 15: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
July 16: Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
July 17: Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
July 18: I wanted to make a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
July 19: I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
July 20: I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
July 21: My friend has a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
July 22: I made a belt out of watches once. It was a waist of time.
July 23: I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. It was an uplifting experience.
July 24: The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
July 25: I was going to tell a joke about a broken pencil, but there’s no point.
July 26: A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control her pupils.
July 27: I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
July 28: What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
July 29: I used to play chess with my friend, but he quit because he couldn’t handle my moves.
July 30: I wanted to be a gardener, but I couldn’t find my thyme.
July 31: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
August Puns
Keep the summer fun going with these hot August puns. As the summer days linger, enjoy a daily dose of humor to brighten up each sunny day of the month.
August 1: I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
August 2: I told my friend she was overreacting, but she just snapped at me.
August 3: Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
August 4: I once made a belt out of $100 bills. It was a waist of money.
August 5: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
August 6: I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
August 7: I wanted to make a joke about infinity, but it’s endless.
August 8: I told my computer I needed a break, and now it’s sending me to a travel website.
August 9: Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
August 10: I’m reading a book on teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
August 11: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
August 12: I used to be a gardener, but I couldn’t handle the pressure.
August 13: I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
August 14: I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
August 15: I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
August 16: I was going to make a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
August 17: I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
August 18: What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
August 19: I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
August 20: A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired.
August 21: I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
August 22: Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
August 23: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
August 24: I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. It was an uplifting experience.
August 25: I bought a boat because it was for sail.
August 26: I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport; I’m just doing it for kicks.
August 27: I was going to make a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
August 28: My friend has a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
August 29: I used to work at a calendar factory but got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
August 30: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
August 31: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
September Puns
As autumn approaches, enjoy these crisp and clever puns. Whether you’re heading back to school or simply enjoying the changing leaves, these puns will add a bit of humor to your day.
September 1: I used to work at a coffee shop, but I got tired of the daily grind.
September 2: I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
September 3: I told my friend I was going to make a pun about the weather, but it just went over their head.
September 4: Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with him.
September 5: I was going to make a joke about chemistry, but I didn’t think I’d get a reaction.
September 6: I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
September 7: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
September 8: I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
September 9: What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
September 10: I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
September 11: I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
September 12: Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
September 13: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
September 14: I once made a belt out of $100 bills. It was a waist of money.
September 15: Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
September 16: I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
September 17: I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
September 18: I wanted to make a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
September 19: I was going to make a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
September 20: I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
September 21: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
September 22: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
September 23: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
September 24: I bought a boat because it was for sail.
September 25: My friend has a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
September 26: I wanted to make a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
September 27: I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
September 28: I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
September 29: I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
September 30: What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
October Puns
Get into the spooky spirit with some pun-tastic October fun. From haunted houses to pumpkin patches, these puns will add a bit of humor to your Halloween season.
October 1: I’m reading a book on teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
October 2: I told my friend I was going to make a pun about ghosts, but they said it was too transparent.
October 3: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
October 4: I was going to make a joke about pumpkins, but it just didn’t have any squash.
October 5: I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
October 6: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
October 7: I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
October 8: I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
October 9: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
October 10: I told my computer I needed a break, and now it’s sending me to a travel website.
October 11: I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
October 12: Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
October 13: I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
October 14: What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
October 15: I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
October 16: I was going to make a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
October 17: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
October 18: I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
October 19: Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with him.
October 20: I wanted to make a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
October 21: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
October 22: I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. It was an uplifting experience.
October 23: My friend has a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
October 24: I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
October 25: Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
October 26: I bought a boat because it was for sail.
October 27: I used to work at a calendar factory but got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
October 28: I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport; I’m just doing it for kicks.
October 29: I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
October 30: I made a belt out of watches once. It was a waist of time.
October 31: What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I-scream.
November Puns
A month of gratitude and humor to warm up the chilly days. As you gather with family and friends, let these puns add some extra cheer to your November.
November 1: I was going to make a joke about turkeys, but I chickened out.
November 2: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
November 3: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
November 4: I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
November 5: I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
November 6: I told my computer I needed a break, and now it’s sending me to a travel website.
November 7: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
November 8: I bought a boat because it was for sail.
November 9: What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
November 10: I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
November 11: I’m reading a book on teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
November 12: Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
November 13: I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
November 14: I wanted to make a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
November 15: I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
November 16: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
November 17: I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
November 18: My friend has a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
November 19: Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
November 20: I made a belt out of watches once. It was a waist of time.
November 21: I was going to make a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
November 22: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
November 23: I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
November 24: I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
November 25: I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
November 26: A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired.
November 27: What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
November 28: I was going to make a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
November 29: I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. It was an uplifting experience.
November 30: I wanted to be a gardener, but I couldn’t find my thyme.
December Puns
End the year with a festive and merry collection of puns. As you celebrate the holidays and cozy up by the fire, enjoy these puns to keep the season bright and full of laughter.
December 1: I told my friend I was going to make a pun about snow, but they just gave me the cold shoulder.
December 2: I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
December 3: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
December 4: I’m reading a book on teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
December 5: I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
December 6: Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
December 7: I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
December 8: I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
December 9: I was going to make a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
December 10: What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
December 11: I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
December 12: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
December 13: I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
December 14: I bought a boat because it was for sail.
December 15: I wanted to make a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
December 16: I told my computer I needed a break, and now it’s sending me to a travel website.
December 17: I was going to make a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
December 18: I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
December 19: Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
December 20: I made a belt out of watches once. It was a waist of time.
December 21: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
December 22: My friend has a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
December 23: I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
December 24: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
December 25: What did the reindeer say before telling his joke? This one’s gonna sleigh you!
December 26: A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired.
December 27: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
December 28: I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
December 29: What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
December 30: I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
December 31: I wanted to make a New Year’s joke, but it’s too soon to tell if it’s a good one.