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145 Calculus Puns That Will Derive You Crazy

Calculus doesn’t have to be all about derivatives and integrals—it can be about having a good laugh too!

We’ve compiled the ultimate guide to calculus puns that will make you smile, groan, and maybe even fall in love with math all over again. Ready to integrate some wordplay humor into your life? Let’s dive in!


Derivative Puns

  • Why did the derivative break up with the function? It found a tangent line.
  • Derivatives are like relationships—they only care about the rate of change.
  • When functions get tired, they take a derivative and get a new slope.
  • I love calculus, but sometimes it feels like it’s just dragging its derivative.
  • A derivative and an integral walked into a bar. The integral said, “I’m tired of all this adding up!”
  • Derivatives are such downers; they’re always bringing things down a level.
  • The derivative couldn’t keep up; it just wasn’t fast enough for the race.
  • Derivative: “I’ll take your ups and downs and find a line through it.”
  • Why do derivatives always have the best parties? They know how to break it down!
  • What did the derivative say to the function? “You complete me when I differentiate.”
  • A derivative is like a spy; it finds out all the function’s slopes.
  • Derivatives never sleep; they’re always up working on a function.
  • Taking derivatives is like peeling an onion—layer by layer, you find the tears.
  • Calculus teachers love derivatives because they always keep things in line.
  • What’s a derivative’s favorite movie? “The Tangent Show.”

calculus puns

Integral Puns

  • Integrals are just functions that take the long way around.
  • Why do integrals never get lost? They always find the area.
  • An integral walked into a bar, and everyone started summing up to it.
  • Integrals love parties—they always bring the area under the curve.
  • Calculus without integrals is like a car without a fuel tank: it just doesn’t add up.
  • What’s an integral’s favorite type of music? Jazz—it’s all about those smooth curves.
  • Integrals always know how to make things whole again.
  • I told my calculus book a joke about integrals—it found it integral to laugh.
  • Integrals are such optimists; they always look for the total picture.
  • Calculus students love integrals because they always go with the flow.
  • Integrals don’t judge—they take you at your worst and still find value.
  • Integrals are like life—they accumulate experiences.
  • Why do integrals never work alone? They always need boundaries.
  • The integral of love is infinity—there are no limits.
  • What did the integral say to the differential equation? “I’ve got your back; let’s find that solution!”

Limit Puns

  • Limits are like curfews; they tell you when to stop.
  • In calculus, you always have to know your limits.
  • Why did the function go to the party? To find its limit.
  • Limits and asymptotes are best friends—they’re always hanging out but never quite touching.
  • Calculus students know when to stop; they know their limits.
  • Limits are just functions trying to keep it real.
  • Never push a limit too far; you might end up undefined.
  • Limits are like life goals—they help you find where you’re heading.
  • What did the limit say to infinity? “You go on without me.”
  • Limits have such a tough job—they’re always on the edge.
  • Limits are so polite—they always approach without touching.
  • Calculus is all about limits; it’s always pushing the boundaries.
  • Limits are like boundaries; they keep everything in check.
  • What’s a limit’s favorite saying? “Don’t test me; I’m approaching!”
  • Limits are the referees of calculus—they make sure everyone plays by the rules.

calculus puns

Function Puns

  • Functions are the social butterflies of math—they’re always relating.
  • What do functions do when they’re sad? They find a derivative to lean on.
  • Functions never play favorites; they’re all about the input and output.
  • Why did the function look in the mirror? It wanted to find its inverse.
  • Functions have trust issues; they’re always wondering if they’re one-to-one.
  • Functions love computers—they’re all about that input and output.
  • Functions always know where they stand—they have clear domains.
  • Calculus functions don’t lie; they’re all about that absolute value.
  • Functions are like actors; they love to perform in different roles.
  • Functions love road trips; they’re always mapping out new paths.
  • Why are functions so loyal? They never go out of their range.
  • A function’s favorite song? “Uptown Function,” because it’s all about range.
  • Functions can be stubborn—they don’t like stepping outside their domain.
  • When functions get bored, they play with their derivatives.
  • Functions always know who they are—they have a strong sense of identity.

Graph Puns

  • Graphs are like soap operas; they have so many plots.
  • Why do graphs never lie? Because they always plot the truth.
  • Graphs are so expressive; they can show emotions with just a line.
  • Every graph has a story—it’s all in the plot.
  • Graphs are like selfies—they capture everything at a point in time.
  • Graphs are always connected; they love networking with lines.
  • What’s a graph’s favorite sport? Plotting course!
  • Graphs love parties; they’re all about plotting fun.
  • Graphs always have their ups and downs, just like life.
  • When graphs argue, they’re always crossing lines.
  • Why do graphs make good friends? They’re dependable—they always connect the dots.
  • Graphs are the best storytellers—they always know where the plot is going.
  • Graphs have attitude—they’re all about that slope.
  • Graphs don’t care about the past; they’re all about the points at hand.
  • A graph’s favorite game? Connect the dots.

Math-Themed Puns

  • I don’t always make math jokes, but when I do, I make sure they add up.
  • Mathematicians never get bored; they’re always calculating something.
  • Why are math books so confident? They always have problems to solve.
  • Calculus is like a relationship—it requires a lot of work but gives you valuable insights.
  • Why did the mathematician break up with arithmetic? It just didn’t add up.
  • Mathematicians make great friends; they’re always willing to solve your problems.
  • I tried to argue with a mathematician, but I couldn’t figure out their angle.
  • Mathematicians don’t argue; they just resolve their differences.
  • Math is like a puzzle—it’s challenging but satisfying when you solve it.
  • Calculus is the romance of mathematics—it’s all about tangents and intersections.
  • Mathematicians are always searching—they’re looking for x.
  • Why do math teachers love coffee? They need it to function.
  • Algebra and calculus should never mix; it’s an exponent for disaster.
  • Why did the mathematician hate long divisions? It was a factor of time.
  • Mathematicians are the original problem solvers—they’ve been doing it for centuries.

calculus puns

Bonus Puns

  • A math problem says: “Solve for x.” I said: “X is not talking to you right now.”
  • I’m trying to be rational, but my love for you is exponential.
  • I heard you’re a calculator because you’ve got my number.
  • You must be a math teacher because you’ve got me calculating all the time.
  • Math is the only place where someone can buy 64 watermelons and no one wonders why.
  • Geometry is like a dating site—it’s all about finding the right angles.
  • You add meaning to my life; you multiply my happiness.
  • I’m not a mathematician, but I can see that you plus me equals forever.
  • Math jokes are the first sine of madness.
  • What’s a mathematician’s favorite pick-up line? “You’re as sweet as 3.14159.”
  • I’m bad at math, but I know I’ll never divide our love.
  • My love for you is like a concave function’s curve—always increasing.
  • You must be the square root of negative one, because you can’t be real.
  • You’re so sweet, you could skew the standard deviation of a normal curve.
  • Without you, life would be like a broken pencil—pointless.
  • Why did the girl wear glasses during math class? To improve her math-vision!
  • Math teachers have too many problems.
  • Never argue with a 90-degree angle; they’re always right.
  • Math puns are the first sine of madness.
  • Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
  • Why do math teachers love parks? Because of all the natural logs.
  • Calculus is integral to my life—without it, things wouldn’t add up.
  • When I’m around you, I feel like I’m dividing by zero—undefined.
  • You must be a complex number because you’re so imaginary.
  • Math is like love—it’s a simple idea, but it can get complicated.
  • If I were a function, you’d be my derivative because you make my slope positive.
  • Why was the equal sign so confident? It never has to prove anything.
  • If I were a variable, I’d be constant around you.
  • You’re so cute, I could differentiate you all day.
  • Math teachers love sports because they’re always talking about degrees.
  • Calculus and coffee: the two constants in a math student’s life.
  • I fell in love with math, and now we’re all “rational” together.
  • Don’t trust math teachers who use variables—they’re always changing their minds.
  • Why did the polynomial break up with the monomial? It wanted to find someone with more terms.
  • Calculus makes me irrational, but in a good way.
  • Why are obtuse angles always sad? Because they’re never right.
  • The best math jokes are acutely funny.
  • I have a complex relationship with math—it has too many problems.
  • Why did the tangent cross the circle? To meet up with the cosine.
  • My love for you is like pi—it’s never-ending.
  • You must be a derivative because you’re bringing me down.
  • Why are circles so smart? They’re always well-rounded.
  • Calculus makes me sine with relief.
  • Mathematicians are great at multiplying problems.
  • Calculus teachers are good listeners; they really understand the limits.
  • Don’t mix calculus and alcohol—don’t drink and derive.
  • Math jokes are like functions—they have their ups and downs.
  • Why do mathematicians always carry graph paper? They like to keep things straight.
  • Math puns are the first sine of madness—they always add up to a good time.