145 Maryland Puns That Will Shell You with Laughter

Welcome to the ultimate guide of Maryland puns!

Whether you’re a Maryland native, a visitor, or just a pun enthusiast, you’ll love these witty plays on the state’s culture, landmarks, and famous seafood.

Get ready to be “Maryland-ed” in laughter with this comprehensive collection of clever puns, categorized for your enjoyment!

Table of Contents

Chesapeake Bay Puns

Why did the crab refuse to share his food? He was a little shellfish.
What do crabs do on a Friday night? They shell-ebrate!
Why did the fish cross the Bay? To get to the other tide.
Why don’t Chesapeake crabs play poker? Too many shellfish accusations.
How do Maryland crabs communicate? Through shell-phones!
What’s a crab’s favorite music genre? Claw-sical.
Why was the crab’s restaurant a failure? It had a terrible shell-ebration of flavors.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re all shellfish.
What’s a crab’s favorite type of salad? Caesar with extra anchovies!
What did the Chesapeake Bay say to the ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
How do you make a crab laugh? Tell it some claw-ver jokes.
What did one Chesapeake crab say to the other? Let’s shell-abrate life!
What do crabs do when they’re unhappy? They claw their way through it.
How do crabs keep up with the news? They read the shell-mail.
Why are crabs so good at finding things? They have a shell-eagle eye!

Maryland Blue Crab Puns

What do you call a crab that won’t share? Blue and selfish.
How do you greet a crab from Maryland? With a friendly “Hey, blue-tiful!”
Why was the blue crab feeling down? It was having a shell of a bad day.
What’s a blue crab’s favorite dessert? Crab-apples pie!
How does a blue crab say goodbye? “See you later, shelligator!”
What’s a blue crab’s favorite dance move? The sidestep.
Why do blue crabs never tell secrets? They’re afraid of being too shell-outed.
How did the blue crab get out of trouble? It crab-walked away.
Why are Maryland blue crabs always calm? They go with the flow.
What’s a blue crab’s favorite instrument? The shell-o.
Why was the blue crab always happy? It just loved the shell-ter of the Bay.
How does a blue crab relax? It goes to a shell-a.
What does a blue crab bring to a party? A little shell-ebration.
Why do blue crabs never play hide and seek? They’re always getting caught.
What’s the blue crab’s motto? Keep clam and carry on!

Maryland Old Bay Puns

Why did the cook sprinkle Old Bay on everything? To keep it seasonably tasteful!
What’s Old Bay’s favorite sport? Season-ings.
Why was the chef always happy with Old Bay? It just added spice to life!
How do Marylanders stay warm in winter? A pinch of Old Bay.
What’s the crab’s favorite seasoning? Old Bay, because it’s the spice of life.
Why do Marylanders love Old Bay so much? It’s their taste of home.
What’s a Marylander’s favorite song? “You Are My Seasoning.”
How do you know when Old Bay is having a party? The spice is in the air!
Why did the tomato break up with Old Bay? It couldn’t handle the heat.
What does Old Bay say to crabs? “I’ll always season you right.”
Why don’t Old Bay and pepper get along? They’re just too different season-alities.
How do you compliment Old Bay? “You’re salt of the earth.”
What’s Old Bay’s secret to success? Seasoned advice.
How does Old Bay help in an argument? It adds just the right amount of spice.
What did Old Bay say at the Maryland reunion? “Spice to see you all again!”

Maryland Landmark Puns

Why did the statue visit Maryland? It heard Annapolis was monumental.
How does the Baltimore Harbor stay so tidy? With plenty of dock-ing.
What’s the tallest thing in Baltimore? A building with crab-ability!
Why is the Inner Harbor so popular? It’s the tide of the town.
What’s a Marylander’s favorite activity? Climbing the heights of Old Rag humor.
Why was the Washington Monument jealous of Maryland? Its shell-fies were better.
What do Marylanders do on weekends? Take a Bay-sic tour of the landmarks.
What’s the most scenic place in Maryland? Rock State Park—it’s simply quarry-fying.
Why did the landmark get lost? It couldn’t find its inner harbor.
How do Marylanders keep track of their landmarks? With a stone’s throw accuracy.
What’s the best way to see Maryland’s sights? Through shell-evision.
How does a Maryland lighthouse greet you? “Beacon your pardon!”
What did the bridge say to the river? “I span every challenge!”
Why did the Chesapeake Bay Bridge go to therapy? It had trouble bridging the gap.
Why do Marylanders love their landmarks? They’re the pillars of the state.

Maryland Sports Puns

Why do Marylanders love lacrosse? It’s a sport with a lot of goal-ing ambitions.
What’s a Maryland football fan’s favorite seafood? Hail mary-nated crab!
How does a Maryland team celebrate a win? With a shell-ebration.
Why did the crab join the football team? To tackle the shell defense!
What do you call a Baltimore Ravens fan with a seafood allergy? A shell-shocked supporter.
How do Marylanders play basketball? With a lot of net-shell-ing.
What’s the Maryland baseball team’s best position? The home-plate shell-ebrity.
Why do Marylanders make great athletes? They’re always in the crab zone.
How does a Marylander score points? With a “net” gain.
Why are Maryland teams so good at defense? They always go into full-shell mode.
What’s a Marylander’s favorite play? A shell-tered pass.
Why do Maryland fans love their teams? They always put the “Bay” in play!
How do Marylanders cheer? With a shell of applause.
What’s a Maryland team’s secret weapon? A pinch of Old Bay luck.
How do Marylanders handle defeat? They shell-brate the effort.

Maryland Weather Puns

Why is Maryland’s weather so unpredictable? It’s always going through a cold front phase.
What’s a Marylander’s least favorite type of weather? Overcast crab clouds.
How do Marylanders describe a foggy day? As mist-erious.
Why did the sun move to Maryland? For some fun in the Bay!
What’s a crab’s favorite weather? Partly shell-y with a chance of crabs.
Why do Marylanders love rain? It’s the perfect time for a shell-tered afternoon.
What do you call a Maryland winter? A snow crab season.
Why was the weather in Maryland always so moody? Because it had a bay-d attitude.
How do Marylanders prepare for a hurricane? They batten down the crab pots.
What’s the weather like in Maryland’s mountains? Always rocky but shell-ing.
How do Marylanders feel about snow? It’s just another shell-game.
What’s a Marylander’s favorite season? Seasoned with Old Bay!
How does Maryland handle hot summers? With a lot of cool shell-tering.
What’s a Maryland fog’s favorite trick? Going completely un-sea-n.
Why do Marylanders always have umbrellas? For those shell-ing out rain showers.

Maryland Culture Puns

What’s a Marylander’s favorite snack? Anything shell-tastic!
Why are Maryland festivals the best? They’re always a shell-ebration.
How do Marylanders make friends? By being claw-some!
Why do Marylanders never feel lost? They’ve got crab-olutions for everything.
What’s a Marylander’s favorite saying? “Life’s a shell!”
Why are Marylanders such good dancers? They’ve got rhythm in their shell-toes.
How do Marylanders relax? By hanging out in their shell-ter.
What’s a Marylander’s favorite drink? A crabby-cino!
Why are Marylanders so friendly? They’re just shell-cially adept.
What’s the best way to describe a Maryland party? A shell-out good time.
Why do Marylanders love their traditions? They’re shell-ful of heart.
How do Marylanders greet each other? With a “shell-o!”
What’s a Marylander’s approach to life? Taking it one shell at a time.
Why do Marylanders make great storytellers? They’ve got a reel-y good sense of humor.
How do Marylanders stay connected? Through their shell-fones.

Bonus Puns Section

Why did the oyster refuse to share? It was a little shellfish.
What’s a clam’s favorite game? Shell-ebrate good times.
Why did the Marylander bring Old Bay to the desert? Just in case of crab conditions.
How do you know crabs are bad at poker? They always show their claws.
What’s a crab’s favorite type of movie? Anything shell-arious.
Why did the crab become a chef? It wanted to create shell-icious meals.
What’s a crab’s favorite vacation spot? Shell-ter Island.
How do you make a crab happy? Give it some shell-ter.
What’s a crab’s favorite restaurant? The shell-icious buffet.
Why did the crab start a band? It had a real talent for shell-o music.
What’s the crab’s favorite card game? Go fish!
Why did the crab join the army? To become a shell-diery.
How do crabs call each other? On their shell phones!
Why do oysters never share secrets? They don’t want to spill the pearls.
What’s a crab’s favorite weather? Shell-shine.
How do crabs feel about their job? It’s a shell-abration every day!
Why was the crab so good at school? It was a shell-ar student.
What do crabs do on their day off? They have a shell of a time.
How do oysters get around? By taking shell-ter rides.
What did the crab do on its birthday? Shell-ebrate!
What’s the crab’s favorite social media? Snap-shell.
Why do crabs make terrible drivers? They keep taking shell turns.
What do you call a crab that’s cold? Shell-frozen.
What’s a crab’s favorite part of the movie? The shell-fies.
Why do crabs never go on diets? They’re already full of shell-fies.
How do crabs play baseball? With shell-bats.
What do crabs do when they’re sick? They go to the shell-ter for care.
What’s the crab’s favorite holiday? Shell-o-ween.
Why did the crab start working out? To get in shell shape.
How do crabs get rid of stress? They take a shell bath.
What’s a crab’s favorite color? Shell-ver.
Why was the crab always on time? It had shell-f-discipline.
What’s a crab’s least favorite chore? De-shelling.
How do crabs handle conflicts? With shell-ect diplomacy.
Why did the crab open a gym? To help others get shell-fits.
What’s a crab’s favorite genre? Shell-f-help books.
How do crabs tell the time? With a shell-ander clock.
Why do crabs make great spies? They have a natural shell-ter.
What’s a crab’s favorite exercise? Shell-ups.
Why do crabs love riddles? They enjoy shell-braining!
What’s a crab’s favorite drink? Shell-ter water.
How do crabs relax at home? They have a shell-a day.
Why do crabs avoid heavy traffic? They hate being shell-tered in.
What’s a crab’s dream job? Shell-ebrity chef.
How do crabs make tough decisions? With shell-iberation.
What’s a crab’s favorite song? “Shell Shocked.”
Why did the crab become a judge? To shell out justice.
What’s a crab’s favorite hobby? Shell-crafting.
How do crabs celebrate anniversaries? With shell-abrations.
What do crabs do when they’re lonely? They find some shell-ship.