145 Time Puns: Ticking Your Funny Bone

Time is a constant in our lives, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with it! Welcome to the ultimate collection of time puns.

Whether you’re passing the time or watching the clock, these puns will keep you smiling.

Table of Contents

Puns About Clocks

I’m a clockmaker, but business is winding down.
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
The clock broke, and now it’s second to none.
I told my clock a joke—it’s still winding down from laughter.
That clock is so lazy, it won’t even try to make a second hand.
My grandfather’s clock is timeless, but it still ticks me off.
My alarm clock and I had a fight, now it’s ringing off the hook.
The clock went to therapy; it had too many issues with timing.
You can always count on a broken clock; it’s right twice a day.
I tried fixing my clock, but I just couldn’t make it tick.
My clock watches are so well-behaved, they never second-guess me.
That clock must be shy—it keeps taking a second to respond.
My watch is addicted to tick-tocks. I guess it has a second habit.
I put my clock in a suit; now it’s on time.
I had to stop watching my clock. It was too time-consuming.

Puns About Watches

My watch broke, but I can always make time.
I got a smart watch; it’s got great hands but no face for humor.
Watches are great—they keep you on track and in hand.
My watch told me I had a second to spare—so I wasted it.
Watches may not have feelings, but they sure can tick me off.
I tried to race my watch, but it was too fast for me to hand-le.
My wristwatch wanted to retire—it’s been ticking too long.
I lost my watch, but it was only a matter of time before I found it.
I’ve got a second-hand watch—though it only gets the leftovers.
Time really gets under your skin, especially with a wristwatch.
I stopped wearing my watch—too much wrist-taking.
My digital watch isn’t very smart—it just counts all day.
I think my watch is in love—it’s always running after seconds.
I’ve got a watch collection, but I’m starting to feel pressed for time.
My watch has a complicated personality; it’s always winding me up.

Puns About Time Travel

I told my friend a joke about time travel—it was ahead of its time.
Time travel puns? I’ve already heard them all—twice.
Time travel is impossible—trust me, I’ve tried it before.
I was going to make a time travel pun, but you’ve probably already heard it.
Time travelers make the best dates—they’re never late.
I met a time traveler yesterday—or was it tomorrow?
I tried to time travel, but I’m stuck in the present.
The best part about time travel? You can always try again.
I went to the future, but they were still using puns from today.
If I could time travel, I’d stop myself from wasting time on these puns.
Time travelers never argue—they’ve already heard the other side.
You know you’re a time traveler when you’re early for your own birthday.
I bought a time machine, but the warranty expired before I could use it.
Time travelers don’t wear watches—they already know when things happen.
I love time travel puns—they never get old.

Puns About Time Zones

I tried to make a joke about time zones, but it didn’t land.
I moved to another time zone, and my jokes are hours behind.
Crossing time zones really makes me lose track of myself.
Time zones are like jokes—they don’t always translate well.
My clock doesn’t know what time zone it’s in—it’s got identity issues.
I tried keeping up with time zones, but I was always behind.
Jet lag is just a fancy way of saying you’re not in the right time zone.
Time zones make me feel out of sync—just like bad Wi-Fi.
I asked my clock for help with time zones, but it just ticked me off.
Time zones are confusing—no wonder clocks have so many faces.
I’m in a different time zone, but my humor’s still right on time.
I told a time zone joke—people laughed three hours later.
Traveling through time zones is exhausting—it’s always five o’clock somewhere.
The worst part of time zones? It’s already tomorrow somewhere else.
My sense of humor is stuck in a different time zone—it’s ahead of its time.

Puns About Calendars

I bought a new calendar—its days are numbered.
My calendar has commitment issues—it can never stay on the same day.
Calendars may not be perfect, but at least they keep things in order.
I marked my calendar, but it just felt like time wasted.
I tore a page off my calendar—it was a real tear-jerker.
The calendar factory closed—it ran out of dates.
I’ve got too many calendars; I guess you could say I’m booked.
My calendar is falling apart—guess it’s time to turn over a new leaf.
If my calendar could talk, it’d probably tell me I’m late.
I love my calendar—it’s got a great date to day ratio.
A calendar is like a friend—it’s always there, even when the days are tough.
I asked my calendar what day it was—it gave me a monthful.
I tried to change the date, but the calendar refused.
Calendars are just fancy to-do lists for people who like numbers.
I’m attached to my calendar—it’s got my whole year planned.

Puns About Minutes and Seconds

I’ve got a minute, but I can’t find the second.
You know what’s funny? Seconds—they always crack me up.
I told my watch a joke—it gave me a second-hand laugh.
It’s hard to catch a second—those things fly by.
I missed a second, but at least I’ve still got the minute.
Minutes are like opinions—everyone’s got one, and they’re gone fast.
I couldn’t wait another second—so I stopped counting.
My second-hand thoughts are just as good as the first.
I tried to hold onto a second, but it slipped away.
I told a second-rate joke—it didn’t take long to bomb.
Minutes matter, but seconds really take the cake.
I don’t have time for a full minute—just give me the seconds.
It only takes a second to make a great pun—or a bad one.
The second I made that joke, I knew it was a hit.
I’m counting down the minutes—hope they don’t second-guess me.

More Time Puns!

I spent all my time making this list, but it was well worth the hour.
Time waits for no one, except maybe my slow watch.
I was going to make a time joke, but I’ll save it for later.
The past, present, and future walk into a bar—it was tense.
Time may be money, but I’m always broke.
I tried to buy time, but it was sold out.
I was late, so I bought a watch to make up for lost time.
Time is precious, but I keep wasting it on puns.
I’m not a morning person—my time doesn’t start until noon.
They say time heals all wounds, but I’m still waiting.
Time doesn’t stop for anyone, except maybe my weekend naps.
My schedule is like time—it’s always running away from me.
Time and I aren’t on speaking terms—we had a falling out.
Time to face the facts—these puns are clocking out.
If I had more time, I’d make an even better pun list.
Time never stops, but my patience does.
I tried to pause time, but the remote was broken.
It’s about time I finished this list—don’t you think?
I’m racing against time, and I think I’m losing.
Time and tide wait for no man—but I’m still hoping.
I asked time to slow down, but it just gave me a ticking off.
If time is money, then my wallet’s full of hours.
I made an appointment with time, but it didn’t show up.
I’m constantly chasing time—maybe I’ll catch it someday.
Time may be a teacher, but I’m a slow learner.
Time is like a river—it flows whether you’re ready or not.
I told time to take a break, but it just kept going.
Time may not be on my side, but these puns are.
Time has a funny way of running out—just like my patience.
I don’t have time for this, but here I am anyway.
Time travel is great—if only I had the time for it.
My watch told me to relax—it’s just time.
Time sure flies when you’re having pun!
I asked for a moment of time, and it gave me a second.
I told a time joke, and it’s still ticking.
Time has a lot of hands, but none of them are helpful.
I set my watch ahead, but time caught up with me.
Time is a funny thing—especially in pun form!
Time’s up, but I’m still going!
I could use more time, but I’m all out of clocks.
Time and I have a complicated relationship—it’s always leaving me.
I asked time to be gentle, but it ticked me off.
My sense of time is impeccable—it never shows up.
I’m always running out of time, but these puns keep coming!
Time is the best teacher—it’s just not very patient.
If I had more time, I’d make this list even longer.
Time flies—but sometimes it just drags.
It’s about time I wrapped up these puns!

Conclusion

There you have it—a treasure trove of over 145 time puns to keep you entertained, laughing, and maybe even groaning!

From clocks to calendars, every aspect of time has been covered in this pun-packed guide.

Whether you’re killing time or racing against the clock, these puns will ensure you make every second count. Don’t forget to share them with your friends—because it’s always pun o’clock somewhere!